O Puhlease! Not again

I think I can say something about education, so shall I. It is a rummy thing, this education. The word immediately reminds me of the famous song from the legandary Pink Floyd, ‘The Wall’ which says ‘Teachers! leave the kids alone, all you are is just another brick in the wall’, brilliant.

Every summer all the newspapers in India and ‘The Times of India’ make a worrying announcement. Following those traditions, last month there was a big noise everywhere about girls ‘outperforming’ or ‘outshining’ boys in the public exams. For some extraordinary reason, words like these seem to please the tiny little minds of those writers most of whom wear ten inch frame glasses.

Then all the TV channels and the SUN TV follow by interviewing some girls and the Chief Minister would generously give them a scholarship worth fifty pee and a smile thats worth a visit to the local hospital. The girl who got the first rank who would certainly seem to have no friends at all would chatter unintelligibly. Once I even considered to listen and find out what those girls were on about.

I can easily prepare a gist of what any school topper might have told a juddery bottom lipped reporter. She woke up before every else fell asleep, she studied for seventy six hours a day, her teacher called her up sixteen times an hour to motivate her, she would have scored four percent but for her tuition master, who would be desparate to appear on Television, her mom prepared three tonnes of coffee everynight to keep her awake and started crying because she had missed that day’s episode of ‘who has got more tears?’ contest because she wanted her talented child to become the topper. Most important one, God rewarded her with results because she worked hard, which would be the concluding statement of the interview.

Let me tell you some stories to chew on.

When I did my high school thing, a girl from a school near to ours who was neither very pretty nor very intelligent knew every letter of the book in order and in reverse by heart since she had read that for five million times. So she was the state topper, wow. Our town hailed her as Madam Curie’s reincarnation. The Chief minister gave her a gold chain and she got some thirty different scholarships which together were worth a few hundred quid. She was on cloud nine and decided to spend the rest of her life jumping in the happiness and ended up getting a percentage in class twelve that would slightly beat what Lalu Prasad would had got if he had given it a try.

Taking my mind even backwards I have just remembered what happened when I was in the Kinder-garden. I would always get the second rank because first rank was for a bitter faced girl whom I always had fights with. But that didn’t seem to help her because finally in twelfth which matters somewhat more than fifth I got twice as much as she did.

Actually class twelve is also rubbish. It is exactly the same as studying in class five only more pages and drawings. And the staff who evaluate the answer sheet would be much more anoraky and much more stupid. I even lost two marks for a drawing not because it was faulty but because I did not choose to sketch it from the same view as the book writer had fancied.

So, the results of having such a rubbish educational system is profound and was enhanced by another rule that elimites entrace exams which is daft and allows all the nitwits and imbeciles straight into the better institutions. And that also means, now all the good colleges are filled with more girls which is a good thing for the students who get more girls to look at.

Actually this is not that simple. All of the new population of girls are from a government school in a village that is a hundred kilometers away from a town which is two hunderd kilometers away from any city. She would be the daughter of a yokel and wouldn’t look better than a crow after it is boned and she would be terminally stupid and wouldn’t know to read because her preparation for the school exams included only writing the contents of the book a million times, may be more if she was from a Christian school.

Make no mistake, I am not telling you that girls are all incapable. They can store a lot of information. But they are so nerdy atleast in school. When they grow up they become very nice looking, but I never believe that they are cleverer than men, because they aren’t. And an inconvinient truth is many boys are also like that. But it is still so untrue to say that girls ‘outshine’. Yes, you may find some boot faced chauvinists with some statiscis saying twenty percent of people who did this and eighteen percent people who did that were females. But it is the other way of saying that eighty percent and eighty two percent of those population were men. And no may say that out loud.

Let me put it like this. You have a computer that can store an unnecessarily huge amount of information, has a beautiful display but powered by a steam engine. You have another one that just has memory to store required information and has a processor. You see what I mean?


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