You thought I stopped writing, didn’t you? Well, sadly not. I have been employed for quite some time, in a company where you can find beardy, brawny men in their shoes sleeping under their machinery. I can be a bit smug about that and I can lie to you that I have been busy these days. The truth to the matter is I have been worthless for such a long time.
I think the last time I wrote something was exactly when Leonardo Da Vinci painted the monalisa. Since then everything in the history of human race has hugely changed and people started to read physics since the Newton’s era. But my page was never changed and no one was bothered to even look at it.
When I was in university when I was supposed to write hot posts about heat magazines and fashion, I was writing short stories, philosophical articles, things about nature and that sort of stuff that bores the shit out of men. As I have really grown up now, naturally I must sensibly continue doing the same but in a further grown up way. That is precisely the same thing which I am not going to do because that is what you would expect me to do.
Let us talk about girls for instance. I know I must not be doing this because it just sounds lame and I even hated people who do this. But you see the time has come for me to cry out loud really. I am also left with an option of scientifically describing the character of females but I am not for that sort of thing. Let us get straight to the point.
I was a bit of a chauvinist and for me women were meant just to partner men. But I have always adored them like any man would do just they have got that pair of incredible lumps of succulent flesh. Some of them have also got quite nice bottom as well. And my god, some are desperately pretty.
On the other hand I have always hated them because they are deceptive, do cajole men and eventually make a man go mad and insane. But most of all I hate them because they have the tiniest brains known till today. As the world has witnessed, ever since they came to our planet they have been involved in doing silly things, an endless list of those.
I have always hated what they call dressing, what they call being under a diet, how they drive cars, how they manage to be as complicated as humanly possible to deliberately annoy men. But the thing I always hate them for is the kind of partners they prefer.
They only sensible thing to do when they choose a mate is to look for how much money he has got. After all money is everything. But today the game is far more complicated. I find girls running after hopeless men.
An insanely cantankerous man can show himself as a sweet guy and some three million girls will go after him. I met a girl known to me on the other day hoping for something obviously, who introduced me to a rough man in camouflage shorts and glasses and told me that the gentleman was her boy friend and he was a pipe engineer. She is actually a cool girl and not a mental either. I was wondering what in the name of god could have possessed her to choose a plumber with a beard in silly shorts.
And then there are geeks, every one of them in his t-shirt and sun glasses walks on the road with a patronizing smile on his stupid face, followed by a slim outrageous female hidden by his fat body and protruded belly.
And some of the girls are committed to young men who look like a drug dealer or a car thief or a homosexual.
And once I saw a man behind a colossal beard with a pierced face and hair unwashed for a decade, you may call him terrorist, of course riding a ridiculous, ostentatious and loud motor cycle and an angel was riding with him. Again what on earth could have possessed her to do that? Someday she is going to fall off the bike and even if she survives he is going to kill her while they sleep together.
And I can continue this forever. So shall I. Almost all the females are after lunatics, ragamuffins, megalomaniacs, men who look like they are lost, men who look nervous all the time and run around like their hair is on fire, bloody bikers and basically men who are good for nothing. That leaves us to a problem.
I know cool men who look decent, contemporary, lively and intelligent and are not nerds, not boring in any way at all and they are so nice a company to be with, all have no girl friends. Because they are not bothered to act as nice people, they will always be what they are.
Because of this uncanny trend these days girls are becoming terminally stupid. If I were powerful enough I would sterilize all those useless men and prevent their dirty genes getting into the gene pool, especially getting into the genitals of prettier and nicer females.
I think I have cried out enough. If I proceed it will start making me sound desperate. Not being an expert I do not know how to conclude this thing or come up with a solution. So ultimately I have made a fool of myself and wasted your time. But that doesn’t matter, because I am just a normal bloke not particularly intelligent. You know what, I just do not care.
I am just like the character Bertie Wooster you find in the books written by Mr. Wodehouse. He does stupid things most of the times and the rest of the time he does not do anything at all.