O! my neck!

I am not a sort of person who really cares too much about his health. I believe that I have a natural immunity to most of the diseases as I have had them all already. The last time I had a treatment of some sort was when I was in school and the arrival of a pretty nurse was the thing I was most looking forward to.

I have even shown a nurse near my house, my arse for sixty days continuously because I needed a dose of something or other to be injected in every day. Obviously that happened when I was much younger. Nothing much happened by that, apart from that nurse resigning her job and joining a chip shop in the next street.

It all started one day when I left office in the afternoon, reached home after a long journey including a walk in the hot sun and consumption of some amoeba.

The next day I pretty much got the idea of how it might feel to impale your head through some nuclear rods when things around you rotate at fifteen thousand RPM. My aunt plainly told me that I would certainly die if I didn’t eat dinner in her house. But I ploughed on and survived with a glass of juice and a cigarette.

That night, because of the unique way the government is run, there wasn’t power. I in a belief that I got fever, I wore a pair of blankets without thinking about the danger ahead. Of course, I became eventually wet and spent a miserable night and a bad day following that as well.

After a ruined weekend, I was feeling okay-ish. After reaching the office though, it hurt like hell. I was convinced that my head would explode before the day shift got over. Unable to tolerate the pain in my neck and head, I went to consult the medical officer who looked like he might have failed to clear several important papers in his course.

He listened to my explanation and told me with one of those expressions they do, that I have Cervical Spondylosis, not the jolly old common cold as it turned out. If it was flu, that would at least sound convincing for a leave request.

As I am no quitter, I went to consult a local doctor. She being different from the other one didn’t seem to have done any consulting in her life. She wrote down what I told and told the nurse to inject something, which could only be delivered through my bottom. It wasn’t as much fun as I had hoped, I have to say.

Again, I had a problem. I had two sets of drugs given by those plumbers in the name of medical officers in my factory and that amateur lady. I chose the lady because she looked nice and hers were more in number.

As I write, I still have a slightly painful neck and the rest of my body is working all right. That is excluding my stomach, legs and hands.

After experiencing this, I am able to report that this is a terrible thing to have. What I want is a disease like Jaundice which I once had and loved it. It is very simple; you just sleep for a week, drink juices and don’t feel a thing.


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